


The Dangling Conversation

by RegrettiTheSpaghetti



Category: Sing Street (2016)
Genre: Eighties, F/M, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Post Movie, and i ship eamon and conor so much, god i loved this movie so much, heckity heck heck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-12-15 14:27:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11807823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RegrettiTheSpaghetti/pseuds/RegrettiTheSpaghetti
Summary: Conor wakes up in Eamon's arms and reflects a little bit on the past.





	The Dangling Conversation

**Author's Note:**

> CONOR X EAMON is the main pairing. Also, this is crossposted here and on Wattpad.
> 
> Any viewpoints, particularly homophobic ones, characters in this story express are not mine. Sing Street is not mine either, it was directed by John Carney and y'all should see it. It's set in 1980s Dublin, Ireland though this fic is post-movie in 1980s London. This movie is a gem worth anybody's time and if you don't watch for the story watch for the original music because it is THE BOMB :)  
> You're going to have to bear with me on any cultural gaffs I make. I'm an American writer and it's been surprisingly difficult to find lots of free info about LGBTQ+ stuff from that time period and place. At least, the stuff that's relevant to the story like slurs people might use and self-reference vocabulary. I found pretty much everything but that. I'm also not familiar with London or the differences between the boroughs nor am I familiar with Dublin. I've got as much info as I can get and I'm running with it.

****_It's a still life water color,_  
Of a now late afternoon,  
As the sun shines through the curtained lace  
And shadows wash the room.  

-The Dangling Conversation, by Simon and Garfunkel

 

  Something fuzzy tickled Conor's face. The mystery fuzz smells like Eamon and he sighed into it, a smile spreading on his face. The fuzz moved and Conor's eyes opened wide almost immediately. After his vision stopped blurring he realizes that the fuzz that smelled like Eamon is in fact, Eamon. For a minute Conor couldn't figure out if he was dreaming or not. He's not sure he wants to, or maybe he does. He doesn't know. Regardless, the memories push their way back into the forefront of Conor's mind. Mentally, he sighs. 

  The first face in his head was Raphina. Conor closed his eyes again and frowned. Everything that had happened with her was... Complicated. It had a lot to do with who was in his arms right now. He'd spent weeks trying not to think about Raphina but he couldn't avoid it any longer.

  Everyone knew the first part of the story, "boy meets girl, girl unimpressed, boy starts band, girl and boy ride off in a boat to start a life together." What nobody counted on was Conor admitting that girls didn't really do it for him like he wished they would. Conor sighed again but this time it was out of frustration. He and Raphina had been arguing that day and it had gone on for hours. Hours of arguing punctuated by tense silences and even tenser conversations. Eventually, it all boiled over and Conor couldn't hold it in any longer.

_"I'm gay Raphina! I like guys more than girls, I'm 'round the bend, and whatever the hell else you wanna call it! Is that enough of an explanation for you?!"_

_"You mean you're queer."_

_"Yeah, guess I am."_

_"..."_

_"You leaving now Raph, can't stand the sight of me?"_

_"No. No, I can't stand the sight of a fucking prick like you. You led me on this whole-"_

_"I-"_

_"I'm leaving Conor, I am gone. I can't stay here... Fuck, where's my trunk."_

_"Under the- Fuck, okay I wasn't trying to lead you on-"_

_"Then what the hell were you doing you... You... You dick?!"_

_"I thought... I thought I could love you like that, alright! I thought that if I tried more I could ignore it all and if I kept it up I'd eventually stop feeling this way! I've spent my whole life being told I'd go to hell if I was queer, that my parents'll hate me and kick me out. I've spent my whole life surrounded by people who already like kicking me while I'm down who'd treat me like shit under their boots if they knew! It's a fucking sin! People protest to have people like me... Executed! That's why I tried so fuckin' hard to love you like... like... I tried, okay."_

_"So it was never real?"_

_"..."_

_"Conor?"_

_"Not in the way you wanted it to be."_

_"What's that supposed to fucking mean?!"_

_"It means that I love you like you're one of my best friends, like a sister, or something but I just can't love you like... like... that!"_

_"Right. Well. I need to leave Conor."_

_"I'm disgusting, aren't I?"_

_"I just... I dunno what the hell to say Con."_

_"..."_

_"..."_

_"I'll help you find your trunk."_

_"Yeah."_

_"..."_

_"You haven't cheated on me with a guy, have you?"_

_"No. I've never cheated on you with anybody."_

_"Even though the sex must've been terrible... You not being into..."_

_"Even then."_

_"Fuck you."_

_"Why?"_

_"It's harder to hate you now."_

_"Sorry?"_

_" But you've fancied guys, right?"_

_"S'pose so, yeah."_

_"What's it like?"_

_"Probably like when you fancy guys or some shit."_

_"Nevermind."_

_"You coming back?"_

_"Maybe. No. Yes. I don't know, don't ask."_

_"Right..."_

_"..."_

_"Who'd you fancy?"_

_"Just some people I saw in passing."_

_"What so nobody you knew?"_

_"..."_

_"No."_

_"You're lying, Conor."_

_"..."_

_"Conor?"_

_"I don't want to talk about it."_

_"Really?"_

_"I... Yes, okay. If you're so keen then take a guess."_

_"Pft... Let's see... Hand me that shirt."_

_"..."_

_"..."_

_"I'm guessing... It's Eamon."_

_"Shit."_

_"Hmm, I'm right."_

_"..."_

_"Where will you go?"_

_"I know someone. He's..."_

_"Straighter than an arrow?"_

_"If you want to phrase it that way."_

_"Whatever... I need a breather."_

_"Bye Conor."_

  That had been Raphina's final goodbye. When Conor hunched over on the building's stoop, an unlit cigarette in his hand, Raphina had breezed past him. Her head was held high but there were fresh tear tracks on her face. Even though he could have never loved her the way she wanted him too it still broke Conor's heart. It broke his heart to hurt his nearest and dearest friend like that, especially when they'd been through a lot of shit together. 

 He would miss her biting commentary on their crazy neighbors, their philosophical conversations, and late night snacks. He would miss busking on street corners while she laughed at him from a stoop. He would even miss learning how to pay the bills with her. But in the end, it was best he let her go. He couldn't lie to her any longer and he especially could not lie to himself. 

  Eamon stirred in Conor's arms and interrupted his thoughts with a yawn. 

  "Wha-t time is it?" Eamon asked sleepily and Conor smiled.

  "Three in the afternoon, Eams."

  "Shit..." Eamon groaned, afraid they'd overslept.

  "Afternoon, not morning. Remember, we've got no gigs or anythin' tonight."

  "Oh thank god." Eamon breathed a sigh of relief before dropping his head onto Conor's chest again. Conor refrained from saying anything else, he just kept smiling into Eamon's hair.

  "You've got that stupid smile on your face." Eamon said, his voice muffled, "Get back to sleep." And Conor only smiled more widely and pressed a kiss onto Eamon's head. He wouldn't trade this for the world. 

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a review!


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